


The Weight of Friendship

by SennyriNamis23



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: Gen, The Quinncident
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-07
Updated: 2017-02-07
Packaged: 2018-09-22 19:49:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9622937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SennyriNamis23/pseuds/SennyriNamis23
Summary: SPOILERS FOR ACT 3 OF THE SITH WARRIORCaptain Quinn has been on edge lately, and when Raelyn Politryk figures out why she has not only to deal with that, but all the emotions that come along for the ride.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I mention some other OCs, so I'll explain them here:  
> Raelyn Politryk: Sith Warrior  
> Rimea Politryk: Raelyn's little sister, Imperial Agent  
> Kalina Lornacch: Jedi Consular, she and Raelyn go on an adventure on Nar Shaddaa, (but that's for another fic) and remain close friends throughout their timelines

Her sleep was uneasy, filled with dreams and visions of her sister and her crew. Madaga-Ru was there, looking disapprovingly at her with his yellow eyes, as if she should have been able to see some catastrophe coming when she still didn't even know what it  _was_. Raelyn didn't really believe in interpreting dreams, even for Force sensitives, but it unsettled her enough that she was awake early the next morning. Earlier than any of the others should be up. So she got out of bed, threw on her robe over her sleeping garments, and headed for the kitchen. The lights in the ship were still dim, illuminating the hallways in a hazy yellow. It wasn't unlike the early morning sun on Voss, now that she thought about it. The disapproving image of Madaga-Ru appeared again and she shook her head, attempting to clear it.

As the water heated, she rummaged through the cabinets until she found a small unassuming box filled with small cloth bags of herbs. It had been both a gift and a joke from Kalina many years ago, as they parted ways on Nar Shaddaa. The combination of leaves and herbs were especially made to have a strong calming effect on the drinker. Sort of like a mild sedative for overactive brain chemicals. Raelyn would never admit it aloud, but it was soothing, and she found herself drinking the tea more and more often these days. As empowering as it was to feel her emotions coursing through her veins, drawing strength from their potency, it was utterly exhausting to feel them so strongly so constantly. She needed balance, and it was difficult to create balance herself lately.

She took her drink with her, crossing the ship silently to sit in the cockpit, where she could sit quietly and watch the ship speed through hyperspace. It wasn't as pleasant as watching the stars when they were docked, but it would do until the others awoke.

Raelyn heard the soft tapping of the console from the stairwell and figured there was only one source.

“You're up early, Malavai.”

He spun around in his seat so fast he nearly fell out of it.

“My lord!” he stammered, attempting to stand at attention, despite the fact that he was sitting and also dressed in a loose shirt and sweatpants.

“Easy,” she said quietly, taking her normal seat opposite the console, “You couldn't sleep either?”

He shook his head, “There's too much to be done, my lord. Far too much for me to ignore.”

“I'm not sure if that's better or worse than nightmares,” she commented, crossing her legs under her and taking a sip of her tea.

He didn't reply aloud, continuing to type quickly on the console, leaving the cockpit draped in silence once more. Raelyn looked out the window, watching the blue swathes of hyperspace speed by them. She took another sip of the tea, feeling its warmth travel through her, relaxing muscles she didn't even realize were tense. For a moment, she could forget all that was happening; she could forget Baras, she could forget the Hand, she could forget the Republic and the Empire. She could probably have forgotten the Force in that moment if she had wanted to, but the Force was grounding her, completing her, calming her as much as the tea was.

But the moment ended abruptly as Quinn swore under his breath, irritated and exhausted.

“Everything okay, Malavai?”

“No,” he replied shortly, “but it will be.”

He almost never went an entire sentence without formally addressing her, so even though it was in a huff of frustration that he spoke, Raelyn felt a surge of pride. Someday she’d get him to ditch the “my lords” entirely. But baby steps.

She turned to him as he rubbed his face in frustration, deep creases in his forehead. She looked at her half-full mug of tea and handed it to him over the console. He glanced up at her dubiously.

“It's tea,” she explained, “It’ll help.”

He frowned again, “With all due respect, my lord, I hardly think a mug of tea is going to process all these calculations and statistics.”

She couldn't help the laughter that escaped her lips, “No, Malavai. It’ll help _you_.”

He just stared at her, clearly confused.

“You're stressed, much more than usual. It'll help you calm down and get your head on straight again.”

Slowly, he grabbed the mug from her, wiped the edge with his shirt, and took a sip. His shoulders relaxed a bit, and the corner of his mouth turned up in a half-smile.

“Thank you, my lord.”

He went to hand it back to her but Raelyn shook her head, “Keep it. You need it more than me.”

He nodded and took another sip, looking down at the mug as he replied, “You're very generous, my lord.”

“Any reason for the extra stress lately?” She asked, turning back to her own side of the console.

There was a pause as he thought about his answer, “I think I'm just anxious for Corellia, my lord.”

“You haven't been this anxious about the other planets we’ve been to.”

“The other planets were not in the Core Worlds, nor were they so staunchly within the Republic,” he replied, though there was an edge to his tone, which he seemed to realize, so he added quietly, “my lord.”

At that moment, the lights brightened in the cockpit, and groans came from the crew quarters as they awoke the others. Raelyn rolled her eyes, although the daily groans and grunts from Pierce, Vette, and occasionally Jaesa amused her endlessly.

“You'd think they would know by now the lights go on at the same time every day,” she said as she unfurled and stood.

The smile at the corner of Quinn’s mouth appeared again as the tension dissipated from him, “One would be inclined to think so, my lord.”

“I'm going to shower and change,” she announced, “Do you need me to bring anything when I return?”

He shook his head, “Thank you, my lord, but I'm fine. We should dock with the ship in a few hours.”

Raelyn nodded, but lingered in the doorway.

“It was nice to spend the morning with you, Malavai,” she finally confessed.

He nodded but couldn't meet her eyes, “Likewise, my lord.”

She met Jaesa and Vette in the main open space of the ship, the former with a datapad in her lap, probably reading the galactic news, the latter with a mug of caf in her hands and her head drooping on Jaesa’s shoulder. The Twi’lek waved halfheartedly.

“Good morning, you two,” Raelyn greeted.

“Good morning, Master,” Jaesa replied.

Vette grunted in response.

Pierce was grunting and counting aloud in the cargo room, beginning his morning workout. Sometimes Raelyn would join him, but given how close they were to their destination, she figured it was best she didn't risk injuring herself. So she made her way to the refresher and cleaned up before she donned her normal dark robes and sat with the Jaesa on the couch as Vette took her turn in the shower.

“How is she?”

Jaesa shrugged, “Better, but one night’s rest isn't going to heal her pain.”

“I would have been surprised if it did,” Raelyn remarked as Pierce walked by, drenched in sweat.

“Mornin’, m’lord,” he greeted.

“Morning, Pierce.”

He wiped his hands on a sweaty towel around his neck, “Expecting General Rakton to holo soon. The team is ready to go, just need the all clear.”

Raelyn nodded, “That's good. Hopefully we won't take long getting that transponder code and we can get right to the Bastion.”

He grinned, “And you'll see what Black Ops is all about.”

“I'm very much looking forward to that.”

The morning passed as usual, everyone taking turns getting ready for the day. Malavai was the last to get in the refresher - much to the amusement of Pierce and Vette - and announced on his way that they were no longer than a standard hour out from their destination.

Raelyn was finishing up putting on her armor as they docked, and everyone assembled in front of the holoterminal.

“My lord,” Quinn began, “may I request accompanying you? I know the layout of that ship very well, and can make our task easier.”

Raelyn nodded, “Of course, Malavai. Pierce can hold down the fort while we’re gone.”

“I may have chosen Miss Willsaam,” he remarked coldly, “but it is your ship, my lord, and if you want to see it burn in flames, that's your decision.”

Pierce rolled up his sleeves, “How ‘bout I burn you up in flames, Captain?”

It didn't take long for the two boys to devolve into insults and bickering.

“Enough,” Raelyn interrupted impatiently, “Pierce is in charge. Jaesa and Vette, I want you to see what's going on in Corellia. We’ll be there soon enough and I want no surprises.”

The girls nodded eagerly and Pierce looked over to Quinn smugly.

“Quinn, with me,” she ordered, spinning on her heel and stalking out of the ship.

“Right behind you, my lord.”


	2. Chapter 2

They entered the lowest level of the ship, and to Raelyn’s surprise, there were no sentient beings anywhere in sight. There were plenty of droids, who went about their duties without even noticing the two intruders, but zero living beings. Usually there was _someone_ around who wanted to shoot them. She kept her guard up as Malavai led the way, zig zagging through the hallways and rooms until they entered a huge open vault whose only exit was the door they just entered.

“Uhm, Quinn,” Raelyn asked, looking around, “Are you sure this is where we’re supposed to be?”

He nodded as he dashed for the console on the side of the room, “Quite positive, my lord.”

“Where exactly are we supposed to go?”

He looked up at her, pain in his eyes, “Nowhere, my lord. I am deeply sorry, but this was all a ruse. Darth Baras called on me to kill you.”

“You're _what_?” She demanded.

“Betraying you, my lord,” he replied evenly, stepping away from the console.

Her head was spinning. She'd finally gotten comfortable around him, and him around her, and he brought her here to kill her?

“How? Why? When did this start?”

She immediately reached for her lightsabers but didn't ignite them, gauging dangers in the room through the Force. But there was no living being in there other than Malavai. Surely, he wasn't stupid enough to fight her on his own?

He shrugged, clearly trying to keep his calm facade, “It has been an honor to serve you, my lord, but Baras has always been my true lord. As much as I owe you, I owe him my career. And you're powerful, my lord, but Darth Baras is much more so; your chances of surviving this whole endeavor was only about twelve and a half percent.”

It took her a moment to process his confession, but there was one word that struck her, “Wait, _was_? What are my chances now?”

He pressed a button on his wrist, opening two cargo bay doors, and two enormous droids entered the room, “Considering I know all your strengths and weaknesses in battle and programmed these two droids to exploit all of them, your chances at living are less than one percent.”

The droids began to warm up their lasers and Quinn reached for his own pistol as Raelyn ignited her lightsabers. She flung one of them at the droid closest to her, severing the legs from the body, but it could still shoot at her from the ground. She used her other saber to block the shots from Quinn and the other droid, aiming as best she could for the droid and not the Captain, traitor though he was. Her second lightsaber returned to her hand and she leaped to the droid she downed earlier, feeling a blaster bolt scrape her arm as she came down. She ignored the pain, but her attack wasn't as strong as she wanted, and it took a second swipe at the droid to dismantle its central console, giving enough time for Quinn to take aim at her head. He was smart; he knew the droids could only slow her down, and used them to do precisely that. But Raelyn was quicker, and she ducked just as he pulled the trigger. She sped across the room to the second droid, continuing to block the blaster fire with her lightsabers, deflecting them to the ground. She heard Quinn growl something as she went for the droid, distracting her momentarily.

“You can't win, my lord, my statistics are flawless.”

“I don't want to hear about your _fucking_ statistics,” she snarled, the corners of her vision reddening as her anger escalated.

“Very well,” he remarked as if they weren't in the middle of a firefight, “I can recite the other reasons for your failure.”

And he did. As she was fighting off the second droid, he recited everything she hated about herself, everything she’d done that she regretted. He started with the men she’d killed: Overseer Tremel, Girik, Draahg. He called her out on her loyalty to the Empire, pointing out the times she’d intentionally done things to harm it. He recalled her battle with Nomen Karr, when she allowed him to fall to the Dark Side, to be consumed by his lust for grandeur. Then he escalated to the moments when she hated herself the most, when she’d questioned her very existence: when Kalina learned she’d lied to her about her intentions and allegiance with the Empire, and when she abandoned her sister on Dromund Kaas to become a Sith acolyte. She didn’t even know how he got most of his information, given she hadn’t even told Vette about Rimea and she’d purposefully kept her friendship with Kalina hidden from both Quinn and Pierce. Had he been spying on her, too, while he was planning his betrayal?

“Enough!” she screamed, hurling herself at the droid and smashing it, immediately turning to Malavai, who didn't even flinch.

She was swirling in anger and hatred, her emotions taking hold of her and giving her strength but taking control from her. Her vision was red, her hands were shaking, her chest was tight. She breathed heavily, unable to keep her emotions in check. The Dark Side of the Force was gathering around her and the air sparked with electricity, even when Raelyn knew she couldn't control it. There was fire under her skin, and murder in her eyes. It didn't take much for the image of Quinn to morph into her old master, mocking her with laughter. She couldn't tell if Malavai himself was laughing or if it was just the Force.

It was his best strategy: unnerve her, let her emotions control her. She was powerful but she wasn't precise. She was sloppy when she let her emotions get the better of her, and he knew how to get her mad as hell.

Malavai fired at her, hitting her in the hand, sending streaks of pain up her arm and her lightsaber flying behind her.

She didn't hesitate then despite the pain, running for him in a line as he readied the final shot, but once he fired, she held out her lightsaber, sending the blaster bolt directly back into him. He crumpled to the ground as she thrust her lightsaber into him, aiming for his heart, but as he fell, she managed to get him through the shoulder instead.

The illusions around her immediately collapsed and her vision cleared as she realized what she’d done. Malavai was on the ground, one hand to his abdomen, her lightsaber still ignited through his shoulder.

“No,” he groaned quietly, “my calculations, they were perfect, they couldn’t have been wrong.”

She looked at him in horror, immediately recalling her lightsaber and sinking to her knees.

“I'm so sorry, Malavai,” she said quietly, a little more desperately than she would have liked as she pressed a hand to his bleeding injury.

He looked her with the saddest smile she'd ever seen, “With all due respect, my lord, I should be the one apologizing. For underestimating you, and for betraying you.”

She didn't know how to reply to that. How do you reply to that? The anger in her still lingered on the fringes of her vision, despite the guilt that was starting to consume her. But the guilt in hurting him far worse than he hurt her didn't change the fact that he'd just tried to kill her. And he'd been planning the betrayal for months at least, if not longer. It explained a lot about his behavior the last few days, but she couldn't just _forgive_ him, as much as she might have wanted to.

“We have to get you back to the ship,” she replied instead, hooking his uninjured arm over her shoulder.

He grunted, “It would be easier if you just let me die here.”

Her heart shattered as he said it, the hatred immediately replaced with an oppressive sadness. She tried to swallow the tears in her eyes, but couldn't do it, feeling them sting on her face as they fell.

“When have you ever known me to do things the easy way?” she joked, although the lump in her throat ruined the effect. He still smiled a little, even as he inhaled sharply and pressed his hand to his abdomen when she dragged him to his feet. Raelyn sent out a silent apology, putting her hand over his.

The ship seemed much bigger on the way out, and the hallways they had zigged and zagged through quickly on their way in became a twisting labyrinth they slogged through on their way out. Malavai was still conscious enough to direct them out, but he was fading fast by the time they finally reached the Fury.

They stopped to catch their breath before they entered their own ship.

“I would appreciate it, my lord,” he murmured, “if we didn't bring this incident up around the others. They don't trust me as it is.”

She nodded, “I’ll do my best, Malavai, but the lightsaber hole through your shoulder is going to raise a lot of questions. They're going to figure it out eventually.”

He closed his eyes as if he was accepting a death sentence, but let her open the hatch back into the Fury.


	3. Chapter 3

As soon as they opened the door, Pierce, Vette, Jaesa, and Broonmark crowded the atrium; they were armed and it looked like just about ready to burst into the larger ship, guns blazing.

“Master!” Jaesa cried, “Vette and I did as you asked, and we were on the console and found the Captain’s messages-”

Raelyn put a bloodied hand up and pushed through the three of them. They figured it out faster than she'd anticipated and she didn't know how to answer them yet. It didn't help that Quinn was becoming dead weight in her arms when she finally dragged him in the medbay. Pierce, Vette, and Jaesa crowded the doorway, trying to see what had happened.

“Everyone out!” Raelyn growled, “None of you are allowed in here until I say otherwise!”

“Don't think we should be trusting him in there alone with you,” Pierce objected.

“He’s been working for Baras this whole time!” Jaesa argued.

“He was going to kill you!” Vette chirped.

Broonmark made some displeased noises further out in the room.

Raelyn whipped her head around them, sending daggers at all of them with her eyes, but spoke evenly, “Get. Out.”

The room got noticeably colder after that, and even though they were clearly concerned for her safety, they acquiesced and backed out of the doorway. With a flick of her wrist, Raelyn slammed the door shut, leaving her alone with the traitorous Captain. She put her elbows on the table and hung her head for a moment. So many thoughts were swirling through her head, overwhelming her.

_Focus, Politryk._

_One thing at a time._

Malavai laid on the bed obediently and quietly, despite the pain Raelyn could feel in him. She had to worry about keeping him alive first. Only problem was she was a terrible medic. Usually it was Quinn who patched up the crew when missions went bad.

She did know she had to get his shirt off, so she did that as carefully as she could, apologizing profusely when she had to move his injured shoulder to get it off. He shook off her apology, reiterating that he deserved whatever pain he was feeling. She swallowed more tears as she threw his uniform to the ground, but was at a loss after that.

He seemed to be able to read her mind and pointed to the large cabinet against the wall, whispering, “There are bacta patches in there on the second shelf. Kolto is on the top.”

Bless his heart, everything was labeled. She quickly located the two items he mentioned, and took a painkiller as well.

“Kolto first,” he instructed.

“Nope,” she rebutted, “painkillers first.”

He started to argue even as she injected the medicine, “I hardly think I'm deserving of that mercy.”

“Don't be stupid,” she argued.

He looked like he was trying to smile, though it was hard to tell, “It's too late for that, I think.”

“What, you get impaled by a lightsaber and suddenly you're a comedian?” she quipped, desperately hoping she could keep the banter going long enough to get through this.

He croaked out a laugh, “Now the kolto.”

She gently applied everything with his instructions, making jokes as she went even though she wanted to cry. The painkillers kept him lucid for a while, but as she finished wrapping his torso and shoulders, he was losing the battle to stay awake.

“Now we wait, I guess,” she commented.

He gave a shallow nod before he finally slipped into a pain- and painkiller-induced sleep. It wasn't until that moment that Raelyn realized her hand was still bleeding. She stripped off the armor on her upper body, leaving only the tight sleeveless undershirt, and went to the sink and washed her injuries, gritting her teeth as the cold water rushed over her broken skin. Going over the steps she'd just done with Malavai, she treated and wrapped up her own injuries. She examined her work and was proud of herself for figuring it out, even if her injuries were far more superficial than Quinn’s. 

It was mercifully quiet in the medbay with only the soft beeping of the medical equipment to interrupt her thoughts. She was going to have to explain to the others what happened and why she'd decided to save Malavai when she really could have just left him on that ship, and maybe she should have. 

There was a knock on the door, shaking her from her thoughts.

“M’lord,” Pierce’s gruff voice penetrated into the medbay, “General Rakton’s on the holo and wants to talk to you.”

She closed her eyes and sighed. Just because her world had stopped didn’t mean the rest of the galaxy did. Rather than answering, she just stood and opened the medbay door, exiting before shutting it again. Vette and Jaesa were on the couch, hands intertwined as they looked at her with concern. Broonmark was brooding in a corner of the room. There was an older man on the holoterminal, his uniform clearly displaying his rank as a General.

“General Rakton,” she greeted politely.

“Lord Politryk,” he replied, “No doubt you’ve been kept up to date on the preparations Lieutenant Pierce and his Black Ops team have been making to assault the Bastion.”

She nodded, but didn’t say anything aloud.

He took that as a sign to continue, “Now is the time to begin our attack. Everything is in readiness, and the Bastion is hovering near Corellia. I’m having my crew send you the coordinates now.”

Raelyn nodded, “Very good, General. We should be there soon.”

“There is one condition, my lord,” he said hesitantly, pausing as if he was gauging her reaction, “The Fury will not be engaging in the battle itself. There are many Jedi on board the Bastion and they will certainly notice the presence of a Sith Lord if you get too close, and since we are counting on the element of surprise for this to succeed, we cannot jeopardize this mission with you or your ship there.”

Raelyn nodded, “Of course, General. I’ll rendezvous with your ship so Lieutenant Pierce can join you. We’ll stay out of your way.”

“Excellent. The Bastion is nearly ours already,” he said as the holocall ended.

“Better get ready, then,” Pierce noted, heading for the crew quarters.

Raelyn put out a hand and grabbed him by the forearm, “Hang on for a minute.” 

She was so tense and so tired she felt she might implode, and it seemed the others could sense it. They all looked at her expectantly, silent and nervous. 

“I know you all have questions about what happened on that ship,” she explained, “and I promise I’ll tell you all as much as I can. But I need you to be patient, and I need you to trust me.”

They all nodded but didn’t reply, so she took a deep breath and continued, “The messages and plans you saw were correct. Captain Quinn did intend to betray me.”

“Looks like he did more’n intend,” Pierce spat, motioning to her wrapped hand and arm.

Raelyn continued without acknowledging him, “But I can assure you, he is not and will not be again a threat. I know you’re all angry, and to be honest I’m still angry, too, but if any of you so much as touch him, I will dangle you by your pinky toe out the airlock. Am I understood?”

There was a chorus of disappointed grumbles.

“Shouldn’t we keep an eye on him, at least?” Jaesa chimed after a moment.

“I can assure you, he’s in no condition to do just about anything at the moment,” Raelyn replied, feeling her gut twist as guilt loomed over her again.

Nobody else voiced any objections, so Raelyn released Pierce’s arm and silently made her way to the cockpit to prepare the ship to meet General Rakton. She typed the coordinates into the console, but her mind wasn’t anywhere near her work. It felt _wrong_ to be in the cockpit alone. It felt _wrong_ to hear her own typing and not his. It felt _wrong_ to be so emotional about sitting in a goddamn cockpit.

_Get ahold of yourself, Politryk. He tried to fucking kill you, why are you so goddamn upset that he’s a little hurt?_

She knew the answer to that, but couldn’t bring herself to admit it.

Raelyn and Malavai had always had a complicated friendship. He was utterly out of his league around the rabble of the rest of the crew. Even with the only other member of the military - especially with Pierce, in fact - he could hardly find any common ground; but he had been insanely loyal and incredibly stubborn about staying whenever Raelyn brought up the subject of him transferring somewhere he’d be more comfortable. So she’d taken it upon herself to actually befriend the Captain, as awkward and stilted as their friendship was. Raelyn communicated trust and friendship primarily through physical touch and teasing, neither of which Malavai understood or appreciated. The result was an astounding amount of silence and uncomfortable small talk. The only place they were even remotely close to actually looking like friends was when they sat in the cockpit, working together as the ship sped through the vast emptiness of space. Quinn had taught Raelyn many of the finer points of space navigation, as well as how to best maximize efficiency in every way, and Raelyn appreciated his enthusiasm even if she didn’t share it. They were an interesting pair, to be sure, but she trusted him as much as any of the others, and was pretty sure he thought the same.

Well, she wasn’t exactly sure how much she trusted him at this point.

At some point she realized she was crying again and she put her hand to her face, stifling the whimpers that escaped her. She kept reliving their fight in her mind as if she had been a spectator, watching herself lose control of her emotions, watching herself lose herself in the Dark Side for the first time in years, watching herself realize the moment she hurt him that she’d fucked up. It was almost worse from this view than it was to actually fight him. The adrenaline had dissipated, leaving her exhausted physically and emotionally.

Once she set the controls to autopilot, she stood up and returned to her quarters, hoping she could meditate and find some sort of balance again. When she knelt down, she felt her lightsaber brush against her thigh, and she was so surprised and distraught that she flung it across the room, crumpling into a sobbing mess again. She leaned back against the foot of the bed, allowing herself to cry unabated this time. 

It felt like hours had passed before she collected herself again. She felt like shit, a headache pounding behind her eyes, her injuries whining as she moved to clean her face at the sink. Raelyn looked at herself in the mirror and touched the right side of her face; it was covered in a large scar from the first time she lost herself in the Dark Side, resulting in a massive electrical explosion that nearly killed her. She pressed her hand to it gently and sighed. She liked to think she had a healthy dose of fear when it came to embracing the Dark Side, recognizing it as an incredibly strong ally but also a predator who would consume you if you allowed it. Hanging her head again, she wondered how Malavai figured out how to get her so unbalanced and desperate; nobody had prodded her into losing herself in so long, she had all but forgotten what it felt like. Sure, she’d been emotional plenty of times, but her emotions were always controlled or at least identified. They gave her strength, but she knew exactly how to use them to give her maximum power and control. It was one of the reasons Baras chose her in the first place.

And in only a few minutes, Malavai Quinn had unravelled her totally and completely.

The pounding headache pulled her back to reality and she winced, pressing the bridge of her nose. Well, there was nothing else for it but to go back into the medbay and grab something for it; she could check on Quinn’s status while she was there, maybe feel a little better if he wasn’t actually dying.

The ship was nearly silent as she crossed the hall between her quarters and the medbay. Jaesa and Vette had relocated somewhere else, Broonmark had gone back to the cargo bay, and Pierce was packing or napping in the crew quarters. It was sort of unnerving that he could sleep before missions, but he insisted it rejuvenated him. 

The machines were beeping quietly in the medbay, and there weren’t any alarms or big red emergency signals from anything, so she figured that was probably a good sign. Quinn’s chest rose and fell gently as he slept, and she wondered if it might be worth giving him another dose of the painkiller. She knew there was some sort of recommended time to wait between administering those, but she had no idea how long it was for that particular medicine. So rather than risk overdosing him in some misguided attempt to help him sleep better, she grabbed a bottle of small pills for her own headache. Raelyn walked up to the console on the other side of the room, looking to see if she could make anything out on the screen. 

She recognized some of the measurements: pulse rate, blood pressure, oxygen levels. Others were acronyms she couldn’t figure out for the life of her. And even if she did recognize them, she had no idea what the numbers beside them meant or signified. But all the lights were green, which couldn’t have been terrible. Force, she really was a shit healer. Maybe she should work on that when they had some downtime.

With a sigh, she sat on the chair between the two cots, leaning her head back against the wall and resting her arm on the bed beside the Captain.

“How did we come to this, Malavai?” she whispered, not expecting an answer.

She felt his hand touch hers hesitantly before holding it outright; she squeezed gently as she looked back over to him. His eyes were closed, the crease back in his forehead, but he was definitely awake.

“I'm sorry, Raelyn,” he whispered, her name awkward and uncomfortable on his tongue.

She held his hand a little tighter, “Me, too, Malavai. I'm sorry you had to choose between me and Baras.”

“It was a risk I took when I asked to be assigned to you,” he replied sullenly, opening his piercing blue eyes and turning to look at her, “I'm sorry I chose Baras.”

At that moment she would have done anything to ease his pain, and she felt a nudge, although what prompted it she didn't know. But she knew she had to forgive him. For both of their sakes.

“It's okay, Malavai, I forgive you. You got thrown into this, and you made a mistake. It happens to all of us.”

He closed his eyes painfully, “I'm not sure this counts as simply a mistake.”

She looked over his injuries for a moment before she replied, “Well, you tried to kill me and I almost did kill you, so at any rate, I think we’re pretty even.”

Quinn smiled a little, “If you say so, my lord.”

She'd never been so happy to hear him refer to her formally before. Raelyn squeezed his hand a little tighter, and he reciprocated.

“I promise I’ll work tirelessly to gain your trust again, my lord,” he said after a moment, sounding a bit more like himself.

Raelyn smiled, “I appreciate that. You should probably focus on getting better first, though.”

He nodded, “It will be my top priority, my lord.”

“The longer you're in here, the more time there is for the Fury to fall apart,” she teased gently.

“I’m already dreading having to clean up Pierce’s mess,” he replied, though there wasn't any bitterness in his tone.

She found herself laughing for the first time in what felt like forever, feeling a warmth surge through her. Sometimes she forgot that positive emotions impacted her as much as the negative ones.

Malavai turned to look at her again, a hint of a smile on his face.

It was going to take time and work for them to really trust each other again, but Raelyn renewed her determination. They'd made it through a lot over the years, they could surely persevere through this.


End file.
